Don't really want to miss this feeling. That of being able to submit totally to you once again that once again I realise and double convict myself of who I am living for. Somehow your analogy of the young brother running around exploring a world by his own mark of wisdom corresponds so much with what I have went through ever since that last concert...
So many times have I tried to make certain things happen and that by my own will to will the bike faster did I speed on to come so near to crashing, yet you always pull me away before I crash badly. Always.
Let us not forget to stay on the correct path that we don't deviate from what the truth says and slip back into what the young and old brother hold to.
Double conviction of joy in you. Its been some time since I felt this way. To be able to release every single worry onto the ground before I step unto your courts. Still remember what you led me to see. Casting every single burden before I come to you. Feels awesome doesn't it? Knowing that you will take care of every single circumstance and that you always have a perfect plan. I remember that joy swelling up within so much that even my open hands couldn't contain the happiness within. I was smiling. Somehow it did not resemble a smile on a normal day. I know you are there. :)
Still you left without saying a word. That somehow a voice in me calls me to accord you the same kind of closeness despite what you constantly say to me. Dashing a person down would that be encouragement? The voice comes and say how many times can you not forgive that I can still forgive you despite what you have done all these while? I strain a smile, hit a topic, hoping it will go forth. Yes it did, but disappeared within that of a few moments as you utter what you would say again. How long more would we confine ourselves to the frames and rules that bind people so tightly? It only gets tighter on the already constrained soul. Just that you do not see it.
Lord I yield my control. Convicted.
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