Respect

You are one of the few persons that really have my fullest and utmost respect in life. To be able to flow with the love of Christ such that you always swimming in his love. Its amazing. Frankly, you are a true inspiration to me and probably to others.

To be conquerors...

Yes i have been thinking about what you said ever since that tuesday within that short moment just before i departed...

"think about it..." couldnt have thought more about it than anything...

Agreeing would mean a definite change for the better, or at least, an expansion of capacity within me. And yes it would mean a conviction to toss down many of old things of the past, to move into a new place i learn and obey and become more like Him. A path that you have walked yourself.

"i would think about it and let you know again... okay?"

Hesitation on my part at that point of time as it came so suddenly.. why me? I was not confident in my ability to lead ... somehow.... it felt different. A different kind of responsibility when you are leading people in this manner.

I guess i had'nt had that feeling in a long time... to cast all my cards down on the floor and take a step back to look at who i really am. Who am I? Yes loads of bad habits and of course pluses as well but yea... i am imperfect. Very. Can i do it? I don't know.


I am willing to try, step out of the comfortable past i got so used to... lead me on...

Flow 2010

One Word For 2010

20 hours

Ah yes its 20 hours apart from the alloted time... soon mmmm alrights...

Guess the more times you do it the better you get and the less stress you carry. Amazing how everything was packed in just like 1 hour? Yeps cools... tms...

Shall leave cofm and pharmaco aside for 1 day before coming back..

Seeing the prophecy is kinda cool....

Renewed

Perhaps when you do the same thing over and over again after a while it just makes you cui cos you are so used to it and cant progress beyond.

Finally.. breaking free feels really good... ah may this feeling stay yup yup

Heal... soon..

Thought

There's only two reasons why one would succeed.

What you think makes you what you are.
Nothing is impossible.

In effect, you think that you can succeed then you will definitely succeed..


Guess what's more? God is on your side. =)

Prince of Cards

Today probably marks 3 weeks + of training in just this one act alone. Having moved through so many variations over the years and finally reorganising everything to be this. Prince of Cards. Yes i guess this new routine definitely does the name justice. The new video will be up online in a talent search soon. Do vote.

Probably have test runned it on 5 performances so far... looks good. Looks like finally got it into the soul.. yeps it flows.... subconciously. Guess thats when performances reach an exceptional crazy standard.

Heal is coming. =)

Long

Guess its been so long since i last posted. And also somehow nowadays you seem to feel time pass you by so quickly. That the next moment makes you forget immediately what you just did a second ago. Coupled with this kind of lifestyle... to run here and there and just provide joy for other people... time seems to pass by even faster when you are on stage.

Ever wondered where all this is going?

One stranger whom we met just told me about extravagrant giver... that the mantle of compassion will be upon your life that you will be known as an extravagrant giver...

Somehow at that time i just seemed to ponder.. yes some parts its true.. yet some parts i can arrive at it thru my own way as well... wells.... still... melo since u said just be ready to receive it den yes ... will do that then.

And yes i look around and realise ppl around me are growing up and becoming older... people getting married... buying hdb flats... engaged.... makes me wonder... life just isnt the same as before isnt it..

There s a responsibility in growing up... and on top of that... a purpose... not just spending everyday as it is ... you have to do something about your life and know what you are doing and who you are doing it for...

H.E.A.L

Mystique of Heal

Day

Still, its been a really tiring and loong day.. still... i am here and waiting for what you have for me. And i do think of what has happened throughout the whole day... so many things.. yet selectively i would remember.

Wonder when would be the time when one of the two callings will take a back seat. I do not want to let go of either.... still ... guess there may be a time. Yet i really hope that both will be able to continue... for life.

Lord help me.

Use me and mould me as you would, for i am your clay and all that you want me to be.

Flow 2010.

Hypnosis

Impressive. Really impressed. =)

Amox

On amoxicillin... hmm... mmm

SCS. H.E.A.L

Guess what does H.E.A.L stand for?

Interesting how everything turns out.. =)

Testimony

Every day is a testimony. Every day that i am able to train and hurl cards out at that kind of speed and grandeur is a testimony to how you have made me. It is all too clear right now where you want me to go to. Perhaps when you made me, thats how you made me to be a cut above the other magicians or illusionists, that i would have this touch from you to change the experience anyone could have with cards. Training is tough... sweat, ache, pain.... still thou who has trained for 10 000 hours shall see the wonders.... more so when you train with the spirit of god...

Awesomeness. I praise you and i thank you for all you have done in me. That all i am is for you... send me... and i will go.

Praying everyday for the same cause.... 6 months lets sustain!

Goal Setting

New Year - New Goals. New Dreams. New Visions. New Limits.

Set them well!! =))

God Provides

Even as i write this. I know i am reaffirming what i know and what i do that lives with this.

Still, looking back at so many years of hard work, sweat, tears.. ever cried when you failed? haha... Champions are still ppl who fail but never give up. Yes yes.... we all know that...

Yup back tot the point. Dec was truly a demonstration of this. Even as you give up your time helping, doing all the charity work and all... just going to every single call... guess what? God's provision always is sufficient, in fact overabundant... =)) Nice...

Really feels good living this way. Just go just go... send me send me...

End of 2009

Soon =)
Yes end with a big bang! nice nice =)

Went nuh today. Nice to be there to help out. Guess all these bring me so much more joy i ever thought it would. Take me to a new level then =)

Labrador Hostel after that... looong day. But fun. Interesting what a small deck of cards can always do for others ...

Christmas

The play was awesome! First time seeing so many hands reaching out for salvation all around me. Wow! Ok it was like WOW! Presence of God was just strong. Wow!

It was nice to accompany someone to Christ. Mm i like it =) Guess thats how it ought to feel when Melo first accompanied me. Heh. Nice, v nice. Christmas is all about spreading joy, what other joy can be eternal?

And yes, so many things happened this week. Lord I am still learning more every passing day how to hear more from you and walk closer to your footsteps. Can you imagine someone tapping on your shoulder 3 times before you decide to respond? That was me. Still i responded so yea =)) Thank God for what you showed me today as well. After Christmas Celeb, went down to June's cm patient for a christmas celeb. Did not really prepare for it but was sure if God called... 3 times... it will just happen as he planned. 3 times... nuts i ought to be more sensitive. Yes it did. The family was amazing. 3 generations can you believe it? All coming to celebrate christmas. And yes, it wasnt some like small event get together and small talk... oh ho... they were SOO CLOSE to each other. The kids was obedient to all the adults and the parents were so full of love for their dear mother. You see model families all over tv... haha those are for a while... but this.. wow... Wow okay!!!

Wow. I have never seen a family as close as this. And yes, it was just my pleasure to bring the touch of magic to them. Father you convicted me of praying everyday for 1 thing for 6 months since yesterday, christmas eve, and yes you promised that if nothing happened, i would get 500 bucks haha. Lol but i know something is going to happen. It will. Lord take me as clay and mould me. Send me where you want me to go, for if 1 family can be touched in 1 day, 1 year has 365 days, even if its 10% of the days that you send me.. its still worth it.

Thanks for opening my eyes to see. Build us up that we can serve your kingdom.

Everyday for 6 months. For SCS. For ppl stricken with what is thought to be a terminal illness. Father make a miracle happen for all others.

Heavy

2009 is a different year from the others. Actually very different. Ups and Downs.

Ups. Concert. Cell group mate married. Great CG mates. Wonderful Family. Fantastic Friends. Passing postings. Blessing to audience, patients. Financial freedom. Maturity. Knowledge about much more things. Luxury branding. Nice.

Downs. Sweat. Tears. Breakups. Low scores on certain tests. Fragile life. Disease.

Why. Downs seem to remain much more than ups... perhaps cos its more recent... even if christmas is in the air. Celebration mood was totally gone actually... after that happened.

Thought i would have wrote about it on monday itself when i was there. It was different. Ever worshipped God with grief? Ever offered the sacrifice of praise? I finally understood what that mean. Nothing like that had ever shaken me so much. Its just so real. So sudden. So overwhelming. I remember that night as one of the heaviest night in my whole life. Ever felt yourself sinking into nothingness, feeling of derealisation was so real. I do not actually know why. I felt both limbs just sink down and root to the ground. Ever wondered how that feels like? I was seated, yet it was as though a thousand times of my weight was pressing down on my legs. I couldn't move them after the short eulogy. I just can't. It was as though gravity wouldnt let my tears off either and they just kept coming. It was just plain straight in your face. I did not know how i managed to carry myself through.

Sea of faces yet none of them seemed recognisable for a moment. My mind went blank. I do not know. It took quite some time before I reoriented myself back then, before i could think and talk properly. Yes a part of me wanted to leave yet a part wanted to stay. I reached home a bit blank.

Thinking about life. Thinking about God. Thinking about purpose. Thinking about grief. Thinking about heaven & Jesus. I really really just hope that you are holding her right then. That she was comfortable and peaceful just next to you.

May peace and comfort always be on your family & friends.

I did wonder, if one day, it happens to someone of such closeness to me... would i still have the perfect faith... would i still be able to give the sacrifice of praise... when now it has already stretched me to one end...

it really is different when you have seen things that are just so heavy..... Give me strength father.

Fragile

I remember only the first thing when i woke up. It was the sms. Why? I thought. I remember going back to my bed after switching off the air con. The place seemed exceedingly chilling, still. Somehow i just wanted to efface the presence of bright light from my surroundings. I buried myself into the bolster and expected all to go away. Nope, it didn’t. Instead tears came. Crying first thing in the morning isn’t a norm for me. Still, i don’t know how long past before i got out of bed again and started walking around. I haven’t even washed up, yet. As if it even mattered. Then i remembered that there were still 3 performances today to carry over. I cant bring this mood with me there...

Yesterday was different. I felt touched there.... i cried.. i never understood why... the answer came today. Why? I do not know. Life is fragile. It is not even within our control. You can be the best in all the sports and career you pursue... you can have a wonderful relationship with your loved ones... yet the next moment... you never know what will happen. And you ask why? I ask the same qn when this happened...Why?

Its supposed to be healing isn’t it? Healing...
I do not know... for this while....

Want

Yes when you have all you ever wanted last time... it feels different... makes you look at life a little different too. Money buys time. Time buys money too... Balance is key...

On a side note, christmas is coming =DDD woo hoo.. yes the christmas mood masks the pharmaco and eopt mood. Haha rocks.. =)) party party party + paragon... lol

Left

Yes ok. I admit yes.

You have lefteth me.. =/

Loooong tripp...

Breaking Away

Wonder why i asked for this.. but yes i received...

'That you shall have my wisdom, my faith, my energy, my brokenness and lastly, my conviction."

Whatever you ask for shall be freely given to you as you walk in my footsteps.

One touch from me and you will never be the same.

=)

And Perhaps.

And Perhaps now i dont even care if i let others trample on me.. why? i dun even know.

But yes somehow everything that one used to work for now just seems no longer that important when all is fulfilled. It was as though seeing all your dreams come true that all the conditions once laid down when you were walking the journey are all lifted...

Still.. all that i do would just be following your lead and trusting in you fully where you want me to go and what you want of me.

That all i would do... freely and willingly. =)

Good night. COFM EOPT tm.. but still... its a chill session....

Oh and yes, if you ask me, wj, i totally agree with what you believe in. You are one of the great examples that i look up to. that yes, as you honor him with all your actions and deeds, he will indeed honor you back.

Flowing with God. A Taste of Rainbow.

The Ideal One

Mm yes i have been thinking about it.... how would she be like... here goes

Your eyes sparkle, with full double eye lids and nice dark pupils that sparkle with wisdom and a deep sense of faith.
Your voice is sweet like myrrh, with your heavenly vocals, you praise our heavenly father and speak forth comfort to all around you.
Your hands and spirit knows no boundaries, helping all around you, and yet you never tire. I see you smile even in the face of trials. A sweet smile full of perseverance.
Your mind knows what i am thinking and predicts my next move well.
Your features are sharp and forms a pleasing sight.
Your actions show what you are - touching heaven, changing earth.

When one look, and i know whether you will take me by storm =)

Genting!

Haha guess what...

Chill Pill during posting.

Cool liao.

Cmdf rocks k. Interesting and heartwarming to see so many people full of passion and love and conviction. =D

Time Eludes

So far so good... 21 years of age and going.. haha of course going la.. else what...

But yea... come to think of it time really really eludes people. How fast time flies past... old already... and every other moment is a week apart... you don't even realise it, do you?

Well... treasure time. Use it well.

Genting =)

Dreams

Dreams come and go. Sometimes staying for a while longer, sometimes gone within a blink of an eye. They change as well. Time changes all things. People have different dreams, every one has their own defined set. When a person looks at somebody's life and ambitions and then looks at his own, sometimes he wonders whether he should experience that kind of life instead. Instead of his chasing his own dreams... that sometime may prove only too temporal.

Sometimes i wonder....

Still... chase your dreams when you are young. When you are old, you wouldnt want to look back and say ... i should have done that instead...

Palliative

Mm it seems super long since i last wrote anything down.. but yea... nowadays its just so many things going on.

Sometimes i wonder do i really really like this kind of high life... up and going every other single moment. People call you, strangers see you, you make new acquaintances almost every day... somewhat like networking, yet it doesnt really feel like it when you know that they are doctors as well.

Interestingly enough.. this year is the year that so many things unfold in front of me.. concerts... newspaper... cruises... media... what else? Sometimes i wonder how i balance all these with the heavy load of studies. Thankfully this is a slack period of time for me to re order a lot of the business plans + catch a break... chill pill.

What palliative care taught in the hospice was really true. "When you cannot add days to life, you add life to days!" Yes how true.

It really feels different to see so many impacted by just a night's work. You wonder if its all worth it? All the tears, sweat and blood.. is it? It definitely is. =)

The Best Is Yet To Come

Yes i thank you for all that is of me today.

Knowledge, Physical Self, Accomplishments, Vision, Clarity.... everything.

Yes everything... that i am just constantly reminded of the limitless limits that exist in your dimension, and that all things are always possible through you. Its interesting to be so ever so calm and peaceful even when tests are just round the corner... that one can still take time off to walk walk... talk talk....

Amazing. =)
Amazing Grace.

Salvos