Friday, July 31, 2009

Renaissance

I still remember somehow... 1 year ago .. you were still here with me. All the practice... all the work... all the prep.

So much joy... sweat... and well no tears. Haha. It was sweet... good. Wonder how it was like in the end when i decided to move away from grand illusions to be who i am today... hmm i still remember the words you said 1 week... or was it 2 weeks after the concert ended. Seems a bit blurred out but the gist is still there...

Yup i realised that we did grand illusions without even the fundamental teachings... maybe thats why it did not turn out to be perfect for you... That i can be solely accountable for...

Perhaps right now so much study into this area of magic have brought me back to where i wanted to be last time... to be like copperfield... to be a grand illusionist... to do the visual enchanting magical illusions that gives the 'taa daa' effect... mesmerising... it is .... very.

I know not whether to head back... Space constraint is a big problem and the need to constantly train someone else doubles the difficulty... perhaps we can do grand illusions but we shall still stick to grand solos first... before i can find enough confidence to bring someone up again... i wont let it fall this time...

So much that a person have yet to see and when he thinks he knows enough... enough is never enough.... Nothing ever comes close to making one know all...

Do you still yearn to know more... more? Somehow the answer eludes me.... you feel the urge to know but then again you already know so much ... isnt it time to perfect and consolidate what you already know..?

Amazed.... still....
Fusing Magic With Mentalism - Allure

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Looking Back

Mystique was really really a great experience. Come to think of it... it did not recur the way it shouldnt have. Perfect memories, isnt it? Beautiful. Exceedingly. Far beyond what words could normally represent.

Collection C by han yang is up. So sorry it took soooo long.. Many photos + loads of work = long time.

Beautiful. Sweet. These memories would always be there. Every single moment of working with you guys, every single moment that was spent preparing for the concert itself, every single minute on stage, every single minute offstage, every single friend who was there, every face, every smile, every applause. I remember. Feels as though i am living that time again and again.

How wonderful would it be to store up those memories and be able to extract them and see it first hand again... That i could relive every single time i am down.

Perfect way of cheering up.

Once again... somehow it reminds me to keep up with skills and the latest technologies... That somehow whenever you think you are there... it just shows the distance away before you are there....

So much more to know... So much more to digest... So much more progress....

We Wander Within Wonders.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Dffecto

What a cool post! =D

I shall coin this word as the effect of not enough sleep causing one to want to sleep more...

Problems gone! I am happy for you =)

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Perspectives

Perhaps sometimes being too nice to people around you is not being nice to yourself... perhaps you can choose to be nicer to yourself even if means you have to be less nice to others... perhaps...

Its a dilemma isn't it? To help, yet not love?

Sometimes i wonder how He holds so still to what he holds to....

Teach me that i can hold on to what you hold on to so steadily as well..

Seeing your glory this saturday.... Faith. Hope. Love. Power. Wisdom.

What you once said still ring in my ears... what you do for others may not always gratify... but what you do for yourself always do....

Life

Rocks again =DD

when you are no longer sick HAHA!!!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Down

What happens when you come so close to losing hold of control of your own body... that you can no longer command your body at will like it used to? The fingers no longer open at freewill..... every moment standing up is a game of chance... seeing whether you will fall the next instant or whether your legs can hold you till you are back on the bed....

It seems different. Every muscle groans at you. Every sight caught by your eye multiples the pain within. Every single thought exacerbates the pain in the head itself. I still remember. HURTS!! OMG!

I am thankful that the worse is over. Seriously. The past few days just made me realise how much i depended on you to lead me through every passing moment. That you are the only thought that keeps me going when all else fades away. How interesting. Its as though you meant for all this to happen tha ti could be once again ever so close to you again.

Thankful....

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Learning

Bakerzin = Love = Joy =D

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Allure a.k.a 魅力计划

A - Awesome
L - Lovely
L - La' Pasion
U - Unxplained
R - Reality
E - Enrapture

Mesmerised =) Very....

Revisited

Same place, same song, same love, revisited.

Yet all feels different. Different. Somehow. Knowledge changes the perspective of things. It changes how we view things for what they are... that somehow, knowledge brings about actions and change. That we know that we know we will effect certain changes based on what we know.

Yet, would you double consider if that knowledge is false? Nope. For it is what has been said. And i would always love to take things at face value.... certain things you just dont need the extra effort to do mind reading.... That should be how life is like... right?

Once again, i feel you so close, so near... reminds me of the time that i thought that i was close, yet i wasnt. Probably it was just what i thought... that i thought that i can fall... i can drop away from this... from that... and still keep so close? False security i guess... don't you think?

Reminded....

FoP is in 2 weeks.... Anticipation. Vision. Dream.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Gift From Above

Do you always have the feeling that you know something? That you are so sure that it is definite? That it just cannot go apart from your plan? Do you?

Sometimes this sense of confidence is what makes you who you are. Yet at other times, it is that which causes you to fall... pathetically flat where you are.

You think you have reached, but you are all the more far from it.

Still remember yesterday, what you had spoken resounded in my ears after the first segment... I remember. It just felt like it materialised within the fraction of a few hours. Prayers never came true so fast... sadly, its not a prayer that could be trifled with.

You remember that moment, dont you? And right after the first segment, the applause that is heard for the next act was just so inspiring. It wasnt for me though, but it made me remember what you said. I remember there i was, stepping out from where i am, seeing things with a even more humble perspective. I did.

Somehow, the touch and feel felt different during the second segment, the flow, the mood, the articulation, the mastery... all just seemed to flow like they should... with no previous inhibition. It was pure mentalism.

Somehow, i will always remember what you said.
Rom 12:3.

Gift From Above
Use it to bless others, for His kingdom's sake.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Pretty


Don't you think?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Purity

Create in me a clean heart.
As i come away into your presence once more.

How much more could i not forgive after what you have done for me?

=)

Life

Is not what i thought. Things are not what they are always meant to be. its a changing world isnt it? Things can change within a fraction of a second... with the spur of an action, a twist of the tongue... it doesnt come close to edification.

Why should i even care so much if you don't? Maybe its because i treasure too much to even allow myself yo be affected... i shouldnt. Should i?

Still, whats said is said. Whats done is done. Turning back? Do i always have to turn back?

Still, i let go...

Why should you even cling on to something that doesnt bring you edification... Ever thought about it? Just because you are in a more privileged position doesnt mean you can use it as you wish...

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Thanksgiving

How long do you take to reconcile with what you are right now? Time passes by ever so fast that one can just be so different within a couple of years... I look back and i see what I was last time, and i reflect and compare it with the current self. What's different? Almost everything.

For the better.

That i am thankful for what your light has led me to see...
That i am thankful that i can have these hands of faith to create anything your kingdom desires...
That i am thankful for what great friends you have blessed me with...
That i am thankful the strength you have put within me...
That i am thankful that you are always here when i need to talk to...
That i am thankful that the list is everlastingly long, and never ending, ever multiplying
I am thankful.

What more can man do unto me that i can not take?

Indefinite

Time is so short yet for some people it becomes shorter within a fraction of a second. When they see a visible lump protruding from within their skin or certain noticeable changes... everything changes within that second. That second when someone walks right next to your bed and tells you that they have seen something, and that the journey ahead of you which was once clear now becomes indefinite... definitely indefinite.

Sad isn't it? Anyone can get it... you... me... anyone. The little girl by the corner of the street, the stranger that walks into that grand building, the friend that you used to say hi and bye to, the close one that you are used to seeing and sharing everything with. Anyone. Human life is so fragile. We can plan how our lives go, yet we can never ensure how it will go.

Even with life, every single path is indefinite. How much more do you think it does not resemble a path that could easily be obstructed by barriers and bumps here and there, that you have to make a U turn, retreating from the path that you thought was the one that you would take? Do you really know where life would go? You are good at what you do, letting you see what lies ahead, yet the path always... always is shrouded with so many uncertainties. People around you influence what you think was once true.. that you feel affected and reconsider your initial stand point. Do you reconsider or do you hold to your initial standpoint?

You try....

I have made my move, yet all that is around me suggests that it is the wrong one, do i believe the dreams that could have come from Him, or do i believe the lies that have came from things all around me... Do i believe? It is your move now.

1 week of edification.

Use these hands for what they have learnt are to do as your will please, that what i do before i am gone will only edify your kingdom, that may you be remembered and i forgotten.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Allurette

Allure is on 29th August...

Awesomeness is only defined by what is done and created... not what is thought of and not accomplished. =)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Allure

When the sound of music emanates from within yourself and touches every single cell within your body, all the way from the limbs, moving upwards your trunk then up your spine and crescending at the level of your temples, you feel yourself at perfect ease. It's as though this waft of relaxation spreads beyond what your mind can even imagine. Every single thought is erased at that instant and you come so close to perfect peace... that you understand that all that is left is tranquility, that nothing else could even come close to distracting you.

The draw from the tone, the pitch, the melody, is ever so sweet. Sweeter than honey, gentler than the trickling streams, and like the unending river... it loops again and again in your mind, bringing you to where you though you never be after such a long day.

Tiredness seems to be non existent. It doesnt even come into the picture. All you feel is that soothing melody stroking every single cell in your body... soothing it... relaxing it. That you know that this is actually where you belong.

Allure.... I delve deep within to rise again knowing i have seen how deep your love is... i glance across the oceans to see how wide your acceptance is... It is... alluring.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Truth

Loves his cg mates a lot. =)

Adversity either brings diversity or unity. Guess what it brought. =)

Touched and loved.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Loss

I remember sitting there biting away at the burger on my hands... Somehow it just did not taste the way should be like. It was bland and tasteless. Very. Wonder how I actually finished that piece of food..

I remember still sitting there waiting the bus to come. Vehicles pass me by ... Fleeting through the corner of my eye. Somehow something just feels different. You know it. Don't you?

Its as though a part within you has been let go of... You feel somewhat lighter... Yet at the same time the inner structure is disturbed. Affected? Somewhat. I no longer fully comprehend how the body works... Emotions beyond words... No word truly describes what one feels...

I guess that's what happens when someone that you love and care about get hit by something so sudden and abrupt. Interestingly it breaks you down faster than incidents that hit you directly. Strange isnt it?

Is this what it means to live for others? That what other people around you feel would affect you more so than what you feel yourself? For you have let loose of what you should be feeling.. for yourself? Feels strange that one could feel exactly what others around you are going through... it felt like a hidden form of telepathy... as though you live through their lives within the fraction of a second... and come to a final state where you can comprehend.... in fact, more than comprehend... actually feeling what they felt... simultaneously. Strange.

I don't comprehend. Still... Why should it be like so?

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Love & Judgement

Sometimes the person whom you love and care for the most becomes the person who hurts you the most.

What do you do when that happens?
Do you continue loving and caring for the person?
Or do you distant yourself further to prevent yourself from getting hurt?

Christianity is not perfect. It is the strive to perfection - in which perfection is defined by the image of Jesus.

We are all not perfect. No one is. Do you not know? Anyone who says he or she is perfect all in all is imperfection at its perfection.

You know something? Christians Judge, as do with all other people. Sad to say that... but it is the reality of things... how things are like in life.

When you see a person... you would definitely size up the person based on appearance, character, and talent. Whatever the person projects over in any of these areas is immediately pieced into a mental puzzle to be classified to your "dumping ground" or "good friends" area. Through conversation and actions, the person oscillates between either end of the spectrum.

Of course, those who go to the "good friends" spectrum, you find yourself talking to them more often, caring for them more than others, finding a increased willingness to help them as you know that they always accept you for who you are, and that whatever they say are never intentionally hurtful.

Then comes the "dumping ground", the place that they clutter together with their similar kind of character... you judge don't you? Based on? Values? Morals? What is the yardstick?

Yardstick... Where does one get one? How is it formed... you ask... Through experience, both that of others and that of yourself... Ginosko. That this yardstick is formed.

We strive not to judge... but fail miserably... thats why we are who we are... and not Jesus. No one ever comes to be Him. But we try. Failure is a measure of success. Isn't it?

So what's the rationale for " dumping ground" and "good friends"?

Ever wondered?

It is to prevent yourself from being hurt. That you know that if you put people from dumping ground in your good friends list... what they do and say... over time, gets overtly hurtful... cos you care for them much that what they say means so much to you...

What happens if "good friends" throw you hurtful words?

Same thing. You get hurt. I wouldnt care if someone from dumping ground said that. But if it was to come right from what you think... that would hurt... wouldnt it? Why? Cos i care...

Do i choose to distant myself that i wont be hurt anymore... that i could develop a kind of obsolete coldness that pushes every emotion away?

I wonder. People need encouragement, comfort, and support to spur each other on. Words that are hurtful are not meant to be said.

Let my words edify.

We are called to love and encourage one another.... covenant in you.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Going Beyond

70 %. Is that all you can take? Oh yes... it does elicit a cough response... that the burning sensation just floods your palate and overwhelms every single salivary gland. The feeling hits the brain within seconds... eroding any thoughts that one may previously have... well.. at least for a couple of seconds.. before the sensation of honey sweet aroma multiply within the oral cavity. Nice. Try it?

Wonder if that is what people normally do to dull their senses... to drown their knowledge of the world around them... that they may reach an area of perfect tranquility... free from any form of worries that may tug at them...All the strangulating ropes seem to be liberated ever so freely... interesting way man have found to allow them to come close to perfect peace..

Sadly. It does not last. Why? Isn't there a way for this peace to be perfect and eternal? Probably so... but definitely not within the formal theory... Still it is a irrefusable offer that one could always dwell in...

Guess God only gives as much as you can take... never beyond....
He knows so much more that you won't even know that who are you to judge the present whether it is good or not?
Trusting in You alone....

Touched

Amazing what some people can do for you even when you have not done much for them =)

Monday, June 29, 2009

Gratitude

It is not about the little things that you all had done throughout the concerts. Nope, its not. How much can a person remember with his limited capacity in his mind... that it is just impossible for one to remember every single thing... but yes.. the one thing that is forever etched in my mind is the conviction and willingness each of you had in your special way when you agreed to help.

The willingness to help just brought forth the concerts.... that i know that its not about me... its all about you guys. Remember someone coming up and telling me how much they admire how i can manage the concerts so well, my mind was on the efforts that each of you put forth. The commitment that every one of you had in your hearts. Without doubt, they surmount what i put in for the concert. A production is not a one man effort.

I love you all for who you are and not what you have done.

Gratitude is the memory of the heart.

More of You, Less of Me

Run was good. Realised how much more i am dependent on you when i am worn out physically... that you remember to carry on running the race because of the end that you can see in front of you... the end that you may or may not see..

Its a constant motivational force that drives you to persevere... its the same with life... isnt it? Just that life is a longer race... and doesnt end within the span of 1 hour... that it is influenced by people around us... as well as things around us... rather than just the mere track and greenery that envelopes our sight.

Even such a short journey was enough to drive thoughts of slowing down... giving up into my head.. do you not know that the devil is strong at suggestion? He is... even more so in life.

Persevere my young friend. That you will be mature and complete. If you lack wisdom, call out and it will be given freely. It was... for me, as it will be, to you.

Inevitably, looking through photos brought me back to the past concert... that i know that areas i had to improve on... for you all, who gave up time and effort so freely for the project. I am determined not to make the same mistake twice. And i will not. I promise. May Father lead the way upon the narrow path. You are always a lamp unto my feet.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Falling...

I don't want to. Guess i care too much to see either of us getting hurt. Guess my feelings are clouded by what i should really be feeling. How much more would this last? It should just go... go with my blessings that you may be happy and cheerful for who you are... I bless you... with all my heart.

Let thy feeling pass that i may be true to your will rather than mine. Let every step i take bring me closer towards your will and your desire... for i am no longer who i am ... let me always remember. Nothing that can take me away from you...

Let me remember who i am living for...

Thanksgiving

Once more, no matter how much i plan... you always lead the way. Turning out to be for the better in retrospect. How much more do you not trust Him? When He could give all he had for you... bearing reproach and abuse... what more could you not give up as well?

Friday, June 26, 2009

Broken Conviction

Break me... I felt myself crying out. When? Now. Where? Here. Why? Cos I felt you calling out to me. Reminding me of every single action that I acted on during the past few days. It was only days and I already felt so overwhelmed by all I have done. Is this who I am called to be? Does that attribute even come close to being christ like? Break me down father... My call of conviction tonight, won't you answer?

You did. Create in me a heart of humility. Father. Thank you. Thank you lord. Break down all the pride within... That all that I am is in you, all that I say would edify your people, all that I do would serve your kingdom. Once I promised to let you have control over my hands and skill... Now I give you control of my tongue, my mind... That full control is in you, father.

I do not ask for perfection.
I seek your salvation.
I do not ask for power.
I seek the seed of faith.
I do not belong here.
I have seen how you were broken for me, realised how you broke me too, that I would understand what it is to be broken for others...

To be a debtor. What I do for you is not what I need from you, its what I owe you.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Allure


Beautifully Alluring

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Contact

To let your mind run perfectly clear and let the sound of music flood your existence. There is nothing else purer when you are there alone at the clearing coming face to face with the one who gives you your destiny. Let every word that is uttered resound in your tympanic that you may feel and understand the deeper meaning within, allowing your soul to take root in the foundation that has already been laid.

Your motions are swift and continuous, like a flowing river; at times you speed up, at time you slow down, you isolate, as though the water that surrounds seems to hold you still, freezing you.

Your fluidity is pure and unbroken. Graceful like what it can be as the staff encircles that area around you, engulfing everything within, drawing a clear distinction between here and the outside.

I long to be able to continue fully in your presence, to be able to let your energy flow through my soul, shining with radiance that beautifies the world.

I open my eyes and am back to where i was... only stronger.

Refreshed & Ready

Finally the break is over and clinics will start once again ...

It was truly a fruitful break and once again we are ready to face what is ahead of us....

=)

Hope you 2 rested well too =D